She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You have to summon your inner elephant
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
