my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.