I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
