i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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