she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
