Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
