fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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