i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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