what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
