I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
