It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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