New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So apparently I’m into choking now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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