it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
