You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize