if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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