yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
