his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
