found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
