Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
