hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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