we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
