But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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