I looked at my own cervix.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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