I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
