I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
