5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
