I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
