Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
