Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
