if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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