hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
