i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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