Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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