On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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