well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
