i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
