I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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