I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
