he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize