hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Did I show you my penis last night?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
