just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
