cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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