Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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