so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
