It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think I am morally bankrupt
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
