She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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