Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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