please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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