hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
