who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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