Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
