I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
