if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You've changed since you got that strap on
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
