Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
