yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
