she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i drank out of a bidet.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
we're so committed to being not committed
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
