we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
