at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
